The interminably long baseball season is finally heating up. With a little over a month left in the regular season, I am now able to watch one or two innings before falling into a deep sleep where I dream of more interesting things like paint drying or eating oatmeal. During one of my baseball-induced snoozes recently, I dreamt about which High 5 Casino characters would make the best baseball players. Or something like that. Anyway, here’s what I came up with:

Love and Valor takes place a while ago, when people didn’t know any better and still enjoyed baseball, so I bet at least one of the soldiers had dreams of playing ball in front of packed stadiums before the war began. He was probably a second baseman who hit for average and played solid defense, and coaches loved him because he hustled.

The explorer from Wellspring used to be a pitcher back in the day, but then he got old and couldn’t throw anymore, so he had to set off in search of the Fountain of Youth. Once he found it, he became a young man with an old man’s brain, making him the craftiest pitcher ever.

What animal could possibly be a better catcher than a bear? Go ahead, try to steal home. Safe or out, you’re dead.

Jaguar Princess seems pretty fleet of foot, so I bet she’d make a good outfielder. She could probably steal some bases, too – once you’ve outrun predators, you can probably outrun a baseball.

Rumor has it that Doc Amante carries a baseball bat in the trunk of his sweet car, which he uses to bash home runs, of course.

What High 5 Casino character do you think would make the best baseball player? Let us know in the comments below!

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