Who’s excited for the big game between New England and Seattle this Sunday? I know I can’t wait to see 11 minutes of bone-crunching hits and perfect spirals spread out over 12 hours of TV coverage. I love football, but there’s way too much downtime during the game; occasionally I’ll doze off on second down and wake up before the teams are even lined up for third down. Even if you don’t appreciate football, you can still enjoy yourself by self-medicating with nachos and beer while watching commercials that cost approximately 66 billion dollars per second. Just don’t forget that Super Bowl Monday isn’t a national holiday – YET – so you still have to drag yourself into the office the next day. In the spirit of the upcoming showdown, we got to thinking which High 5 Casino characters would make the best football players:

I don’t care how good your team’s offensive line is, if they’re matched up against three or four of these bad boys on the defensive line your quarterback is getting sacked all day.

TMA would just wreck defenders as a running back. If he got a head of steam going the results would look something like this.

These lady monsters travel in packs, so they’d make a great group of gang-tackling linebackers. Plus, they’re undead so even if they lose a limb or something they won’t miss a play.

Your team would never lose a game if the Rocket Man was under center as quarterback. He’d take the snap, toss a deep ball, then glide down the field and catch it himself!

The Sultan might rule Mars, but we’re on EARTH talking about EARTH-SPORTS. If he deigned to come here, he’d probably be unable to do anything but be a lame field goal kicker.

Which team are you rooting for this weekend? Win big at High 5 Casino before the game kicks off!